Pro-Dommes on display?

I have to totally vent in this post, after surrounding Myself with the many Pro-Dommes this past weekend from Dom Con I have to ask Myself, how many Dommes put themselves on display? Is this what we do? Is this how men see us? Seriously?

I do not view Myself this way, but a friend of Mine was showing Me a website of a Domme from the area I am relocating soon, I was sifting through her site and then My friend pointed out some photos, photos of her strategically posed in what I call a face down ass up pose, now this does not necessarily mean her face is to the floor, but it is a pose where this ass is thrusted out and the face is away, it is clearly a photo to expose the bare or close to bare ass cheeks, I see this quite often where it is an obvious position of sexual entrance for a man whether she is in a chair, standing against a wall or lying on a bed, in My personal position I do not feel this is a stance of Dominance, I feel a Woman can share sensual and erotic images of her derriere in a tasteful and Female empowering way.

So what is My personal issue with this?  This is NOT a personal issue, this is My professional issue, personally I have some risqué photos, professionally I do not wish to display them as this gives men the wrong idea of what true Female Domination is in a professional atmosphere.  When professionals like Myself have men approaching asking for obvious "kinky sex" or sexual acts such as rimming, oral sex, etc. this gets frustrating, of course men are going to want this when they see Women exposing themselves in this manner, we are a product of ourselves, and if we look like we are selling sex, this is what the "consumers" will expect.  So if a Woman calls herself a Dominatrix (A Superior/assertive being to men) but displays herself in a position of a sexual bottom then how are men going to look at the rest of us?

It is becoming more common and having to turn away clients on the phone because over half ask Me for some sort of rimming or oral sex is quite frustrating and I know many other Femme Dommes who feel the same way I do.

So why are they doing it?

The money? Because they like it? or because they feel this is what Dominance is?

Personally it is not fair for Me to state that sexual Dominance does not have a real position in BDSM, this is not true, personally I enjoy sexual Domination, but professionally this is not what I am about.  I do not find Domination sexual, I find it sensual, arousing and it takes Me to a place mentally where sex cannot take Me; yes Domination for some people especially men has sexual undertones to it, because it causes arousal for many, but to Me there are different states of arousal, those that have experienced true Domination, whether it is mild and sensual or intense and hardcore know that it is a rush, it is exciting, taboo and fun when done by an experienced professional. 

My personal vision of a Dominant is one in power, one who is looked upon, one who is placed in a Superior position of power.  This is why we are called Mistresses (the head of a house hold), Queens/Princesses (Royalty), Goddess (A superior deity).  We as Dommes give ourselves these titles of Superiority because we are in  position of control, power and superiority and quite frankly when I look at some Women's photos who call themselves Dommes and they place themselves with their asses in thongs or bare, bent over, My first thought is I want to put on a strap on and pound the shit out of them, so what do you think men think? 

The frustration lies in what makes a Dominant Woman truly Dominant, we are all different and I respect a Dommes right to do whatever she wants to do in session, but she should respect herself and know we are NOT selling ourselves, we are selling something that prostitutes cannot sell and that is a pure Psychological BDSM encounter.  If you are going to sell yourself as a Fetish Escort then recognize yourself as one there is nothing wrong with that, but there needs to be a clear indication to men what a Dominatrix is and what a Fetish escort is. 

We do not need to display ourselves like fine pieces of prime meat and yes I understand men are visual photos are important, but what is the epitome of a Dominant or powerful Woman to you?  Personally I expect My clients to respect Me in every way and if I can not respect My own body, My own being and My own superiority then how can they truly respect Me and serve Me as a Dominant?

I will continue to educate those on the power of sensual Dominance, we are Women, we are powerful and we have more control then we realize and I love it!

Steps down from My podium. 

your Superior,

Mistress Tiffany  

Jaded or is it Post-coital tristesse?

I wanted to share this posting I made on My Fet life account here on My blog. _________________________________________
This is why some Dommes are so jaded by men.

When a man’s dick gets hard, when he becomes aroused he will say and do almost anything to get what he wants. What does he want? At the end of the day he wants to discuss his fantasies, get his dick hard, get himself off and wants he comes reality sets in. It is like a drug junkie or alcoholic who wakes up from a night of heavy drug use or drinking and saying “oh no, what did I do”.

It Is frustrating to a Woman who does think logically (we don’t have dicks) to have men make empty promises because that’s what their fantasies or their dicks are telling them to say.

Domination can be very fulfilling, satisfying and yet scary for some people. Fulfilling our deep dark fantasies can be scary; sometimes for a submissive the idea of the fantasy is just enough to fulfill their appetite, and with that fantasy a submissive will say almost anything to just keep their dick throbbing until they pop their rocks off, then that when it happens. The blood rushes back to the top part of your body where your brain is and if you want to get more clinical a chemical such as dopamine and other chemicals are released and now you come back to reality the release has happened and the fantasy was fulfilled after the release whether or not you followed through the submissive got their nut and the fantasy is over. Some may even start to feel guilt or shame, just like a drug junkie or alcoholic after a night of binging.

I consider this behavior to be very dangerous and un-healthy not only to the submissive but to anyone else he may bring into his fantasy to fulfill his junkie needs. I have done some research and some people may call this Post-coital tristesse (usually referred to after sex, but can happen after masturbation or after a Domination Session). It is usually related to feelings of guilt, apathy, disconnection, sadness, etc. after coming (an orgasm). This can occur in both men and Women but is more common in men.

This is something that Femme Dommes find frustrating and I feel there are more men that are into kink that behave this way (not all) and I do My best to help submissives get through this, I enjoy helping others fulfill their fantasies with-out feeling guilty, I want My submissves both personal and clients to have a feeling of fulfillment, love, joy and overall happiness when seeing Me during our time and after. Whether it is naughty dirty hardcore play or sensual it should always be fulfilling and satisfying to both the Dominant and the submissive.

I feel if someone is suffering from Post-coital tristesse that they should feel free to find a Therapist to help them through this, I know many men are afraid of discussing certain fantasies with certain Therapist in fear that they will be judged, but what people need to realize is they are trained for this, I find male Therapist to be much more open minded as well. Professional Dominatrix like Myself can assist as well as long as we know what it is you are seeking.

Either way you need to be respectful, realistic and understanding when it comes to finding a Domme or when you are with a Domme, if you have a fear or concern be open and express it when looking for a Domme, but NEVER be misleading by stating you want the type of relationship she is seeking to get what you want. Do not let your dick get you in trouble and do not let your fantasies take control of who you are, it is not as hard as you think it is to find the type of D/s relationship you desire or Domme.

I find comfort is this definition of My own of a submissive.
Submissive – One who receives pleasure from pleasing another.
I hope to help those who seek fantasy fulfillment with-out guilt or shame, well unless it is consensual guilt or shame that is a part of our scene of course.

your Superior,
Mistress Tiffany

Video blog on how to make an appointment with a Professional Dominatrix.

I did this video blog for My Fet Life Profile over 6 months ago.  Enjoy and I hope you find My advice helpful.

To Serve Me.

If he cares for Me , he will serve Me 
If he cherishes Me he will respect Me 
He is selfless and will adore Me. 
His mind is not about his desires, only My pleasure motivates him 
Only My laughter and smile bring him happiness 
Only My commands he can hear 
To fail Me is his only fear. 

Mistress Tiffany 

(c) Mistress Tiffany 

My style of Domination.

My style of Domination. 

I had someone ask My recently what My style of Domination was and of course I was actually able to give a quick answer to that. 

Now although I was to answer rather quickly with-out much thought that does not make My answer a simple one. 

For Me Domination is personal, and sensual but it is a huge responsibility being a Dominatrix and I take that seriously. 

So My short answer.  I am a sensual, playful yet strict Dominant, almost in that order if I were to put those specific traits in order. 

A little more detail of who I am as I describe Myself and from what others say I am almost a walking contradiction.  Those who have met Me will tell you I do not fit the mold of the “A-Typical” Dominant. 

I am caring, nurturing, selfish, giving, cruel, beautiful, romantic, passionate, confident, insecure, harsh, soft and admired for the ability to balance the multiple facets in My life. 

My style depends on My partner.  I literally can take someone's fantasy and make it My own. 

I have always been the type of person to fulfill My own Fantasies and I love to help others explore their fantasies in a safe, sane and consensual manner. 

Sensuality. 

Being a Sensual Dominant is naturally who I am, now this does not always mean sexual, but I find touch to be important, I love to touch and be touched (with My permission of course) and I love the sensuality of being a Woman, I love a passionate Domination/Fetish session and it is important for Me to be as stimulated as you are about our encounter together. 

Playful. 

I am described as being playful by many, I love to be spontaneous and am not the type of person to plan My sessions out step by step, I can't go down a check list, It goes with being sensual and passionate, I find most things in life to be fun when they are spontaneous and playful.  I love to laugh and simply have a good time in My sessions as well as teasing My submissives.  

Strict. 

Although I am sensual and playful I am also a strict Dominant, I have expectations of My submissives (I will tell you My expectations when we meet of course) and I have rules, a good Dominant needs to be able to maintain control of her submissives and toys. 

Being strict may seem to contradict My other aspects but trust Me they all meld together well and make Me the unique Dominant experience I am.  

your Superior,  

Mistress Tiffany  

Lifestyle BDSM and Me:

Lifestyle BDSM and Me: 

The term lifestyle is thrown around a lot and people get confused with it, some people think it is a heavy 24/7 protocol commitment, some people may think it is this big poly house with a bunch of servants and Dommes who control them (A hot idea for sure).  Now some people live this way, I don’t; I am lifestyle because I do have personal full time servants (who do not live with Me) who serve Me at My whim.  I also have a personal partner who I share this with.  I obviously am not walking around with a whip in thigh high boots all day; no matter how hot that idea is it is not realistic. 

With that said. 

I give to My local BDSM community when I can, I do what I can for the BDSM community by participating, teaching & helping when I can.
 
The lifestyle to Me means that this is a part of who I am, I feel this is not something I can just do a few times or just every now and then, it is a part of who I am genetically, I am wired this way and I love it. 
--------------------------------------------
One thing I like to tell people is that being Dominant to Me does not entitle Me to be rude, angry or hateful, that is NOT My style.  I am demanding, sensual, spoiled and am VERY firm.  Do I get bitchy sometimes? Sure do, but I am not going to “act” bitchy to fit some stereo-type persona to get your dick hard.  Good manners are important to Me; good manners represent class and sophistication and though I may have a potty mouth at times, I most certainly believe in maintaining good manners and expect the same of My submissives. 

your Superior, 
Mistress Tiffany 

At the end of the day I am just Me. 

 

When calling to book an appointment with a Professional Dominatrix.

When calling to book an appointment with a Professional Dominatrix.

This advice is general advice and is not intended to insult anyone, but there are just some people out there who are rude, disrespectful and waste a Dommes time, this advice will help assure you of a better experience with a Professional Dominatrix. 

1.  Do your homework on the Domme before calling her.
          a. Read the information she provides on her website. 
          b. Make sure you READ over her list of interests and if you do not see    your particular interest listed then send her an email letting her know what you’re interested in, do not call her unless she clearly states on her site you can call to ask questions about unlisted interests.  Most Dommes do not appreciate someone calling them unless you are calling for an appointment.
          c. If she has a blog read it, she will be impressed that you took the time to read what she wrote. 
          d. If she has links to reviews check those out if you desire to do so.  (Mind you not all good quality have reviews, some may even prefer to not have reviews). 

2. Watch your mouth on the phone.  Be respectful and selfless.  Allow the Domme to do her job, tell her you’re interested in possibly booking an appointment and tell her when.  At that time she will ask you what your interests are if she does not ask her permission if you can let her know what you’re looking for in your session with her.  Be careful what you say on the phone with a Domme.  Refer to your interests with how she has them worded; learn to read between the lines.  Another way of communicating specific interests are by telling her what photos you’re attracted to so she gets the gist.  Do not demand a Domme repeat what you’re saying on the phone, if she’s not interested in something she will let you know. 

3. Communicate, yes it is not good to be overly blunt about certain things, just use common sense, do not be overly shy, if you’re a little too shy on the phone you may want to initiate an email.  Communicate what you like and what you know you do not like. 

4. Let the Domme know why you decided to call her for an appointment and why you feel you might be compatible with her.  It is also nice to let her know where you found out about her. 

5. Do not book if you’re not ready, if you’re not ready just clarify that you will call her when you’re ready.  If you're nervous you can ask if she can meet you for a consultation at her place, coffee, lunch or dinner (all for a donation of course).  Most Dommes do offer this with a reasonable donation and some will even include it into your session rate if you decide to book.  It does not hurt to ask. 

6. Do not waste her time on the phone.  Try to get to the point, us Dommes are good at knowing when someone is a timewaster, some guys feel like they are just trying to get to know a Domme, but if you get on the phone to talk to a Domme to arouse yourself we will know it, so do not do it, get a phone session if you want to get your prick off. 

7. Make sure you are providing a days’ notice for an appointment (unless a Domme specifies she can do shorter notice).  I know must subbie boys call when the mood strikes and if you are one of those email a Domme and tell her you are the type who prefers same day appointments and ask her what he can do to accommodate that if possible.  She may have a same day opening. 

8. Dommes do not typically like a submissive to script out their sessions, do not offer this unless a Domme specifies she is ok with this. 

9. Make sure when you book your appointment that you try to call when you’re on your way so she knows or call if she specifies a second call. 

10. Do not be too early when arriving and do not be late, if you think you might be running late call and tell her, if you’re early I suggest you find something to do until the time of your appointment. 

Just remember to be a gentleman, be polite and courteous, if you are polite and a gentleman and her reaction does not feel right to you then do not book an appointment over-all it is important for both the submissive and the Domme to feel comfortable with each other. 

your Superior, 
Mistress Tiffany 

Personal BDSM Relationships. Stop making it so damn hard on yourself.

Of course this is going to sound like nothing but Me bitching and of course I am. 

I am lucky to have the personal slaves I have, My subhub who I have been happily with for about 10 years.  My personal slave from /Egypt who is moving here to be with Me and who makes frequent trips to see Me and serve Me as often as he can, My servant who comes and gives Me wonderful massages and is so fun to toy with and play with.  I really am a lucky Woman to have these men in My life, they serve Me unconditionally and I am secure in My relationships with them. 

Recently I decided that I thought I wanted 2 more personal slaves from the Atlanta area. 
I put an ad up, yea I may be a Pro-Domme, but I am lifestyle first and foremost and I love having personal slaves;  men who adore Me, wait on Me and are here at My beck and call. 

One who applied is someone I met when I was 18 years old, he’s attractive and at some point in the past we did have a professional relationship, having a few sessions was satisfying back then, but he approached Me as a personal slave, read the ad with My requests and demands of what it took to serve Me on a personal basis. 

Well apparently some family things came up and that got him busy I had surgery, etc. and there was not even a little bit of time for us to meet for coffee.  All I can say is what the fuck was he thinking when he read My demands and requirements to serve Me?  I was willing to make the time for him and we do live in the same city after all. 

Here, I will share My demands: 

To apply for a personal position you must fit with-in these guidelines (They are NOT that strict and I do not ask for a lot as I do not want to miss great opportunities. 

• Location:  you must be local to Atlanta or within 1 to 2 hours from Me. 
• Service:  you must be able to serve Me personally 1 to 2 times a week, this could just be dates, domestic, massages, bathing Me, cleaning, cooking, errands, entertaining Me or basic home service to Me personally.  (NO SEX) I am not interested in having you put your penis in Me, however I AM interested in teasing your penis.  (I am personable and love sensuality). 
• Age:  I am not selective about age, I do prefer older men so if you are older this is a PLUS, however I will consider emotionally and fiscally stable men 25 or older, I really do not want to go to much younger then that.  Stability is very important to Me. 
• Relationships:  I am interested in a man who understands that this is a REAL type of relationship and not just fantasy.  It takes time to build a good D/s relationship and we both have to be willing to put that time in.  This means vanilla dates, courting and all of that wonderful stuff that goes with ANY relationship.  I am NOT going to just get together with you and JUST "play" that's what Professional Domination is for. 
• Appearance:  I am not overly superficial, so really ones looks do not matter to Me, and hey the way I look at it is if there is something I find not appealing about you I can change it.  As long as you know how to clean yourself, brush your teeth and take care of yourself I am good.  I am a Non-smoker and prefer Non-smokers or someone who does not smoke around Me. 
• Marital Status:  I prefer someone who is single, simply because someone who is married is usually hiding it from their spouse and cannot be as free to serve Me on My schedule and that is not fair to anyone.  If you're married I will consider you if your wife knows and I will want to meet her so I can verify you're not being sneaky.  So there it is single or married in an open relationship, that's what I seek.  Of course My professional clients their marital status does not matter to Me at all.
• male or Female:  I am open to either a Female or male submissive to serve Me and train under Me. 

________________________________________
So I think I am not overly selective and surely reasonable and very clear in what I seek.  So why is it that submissives contact Me and then not put in the time to develop the D/s relationship they have so deeply yearned for? 

I constantly hear men complain about how hard it is for them to find a Mistress for them to serve. 
These are the same very men who I typically have found have not even had a vanilla relationship in some time, these men are what I want to call “the quick fix man”.  This type of man usually has an idea in his head; a fantasy of what type of Woman he wants to serve and how he wants to serve her.

Examples: 
I had a man once tell Me he wanted to serve Me in a more financial way (not really My thing) but I will hear him out, well I suggested maybe a shoe shopping trip, he protested immediately and then rebutted with how he wanted to take Me lingerie shopping;  so, you see where this is going right? 

Wait here is a more recent one:
I had a man write Me and say that he wanted to be My personal foot slave, I replied and indicated that a personal foot slave was responsible for My foot care from feet pampering, paying for My pedicures and My nails (those go together).  And his reply?  “Mistress I want to take you boot shopping”.  Again do you see where this is going? 

Sometimes I think a dog is better behaved then a man and much more loyal.

Now I see the issues guys have too, I had one man tell Me he served a Domme and she maxed his credit card out for over $10,000 I was shocked to hear this, the man had to file bankruptcy because of the incident.  In My personal opinion if she truly intended on having a personal relationship with him, why would she hurt his credit like that? 

I had another man tell Me that he met with a Domme who wanted a personal slave and when they met for coffee she brought a list of her bills and told him to pick one.  Again, I am shocked and in dis-belief at the lack of class that some Women possess. 

But do you want Me to tell you the one main common issue I see? 

Communication, the lack of honesty and communication. 

If people were just really honest with what they wanted then they might just get what they want without being so damn manipulative. 

I feel if someone wants a one night stand then say they want a one night stand, if a man wants to just take a Domme shopping for some boots; say I want to take you shopping for some boots and in return want to play with your boots and feet for an hour. 

If a Woman wants a man to take care of her bills then she needs to just say it (There are men out there open to taking care of a Woman’s bills).  But so many people are getting disappointed because of their lack of communication and honesty and the internet makes it so easy to hide behind this.  Why? Because people are too damn scared to be honest to someone’s face. 

At the end of the day it just goes back to good ol’ fashioned manners and what is completely messed up is I am having to call manners old fashioned. 

At the end of the day I just want a man to be brave enough to ask Me out to dinner if he wants to get to know Me. 

Or if he simply just wants to play then he just needs to say so.  Now granite if someone comes to Me asking Me just for a play date I am going to make it clear that no strings attached play dates are for pay and are professional sessions for Me and because I am honest about it than that man now has the right to make a decision on how he wishes to proceed at that point. 

Either way no one is going to have a good relationship (personal or business) if. . . . . 
a. They are not honest with themselves and what they want. 
b. And then honest with others with what they want. 

But the one thing I like to remind people of is not be over critical or nitpick everything because if we expect to meet the fantasy in our head we are either going to be lonely and disappointed or we will miss out on the real opportunities that can exceed our fantasies and what we thought we wanted. 

Well that is My rant for now, I hope in a way this helps people to find themselves in the BDSM World somehow. 

Your Superior, 
Mistress Tiffany 

What is it like? What am I like? What do I like?

Playtime with Mistress Tiffany 

So many questions huh?

I have many people ask Me questions about what it is like to play with Me or have a session with Me and what it is I enjoy so I wanted to cover that here. 

I am going to go by what people tell Me and what people clearly state in My reviews. 
In My own opinion I KNOW I am different in every way as a Fem Domme.  What is important to Me is My Femininity and I do not believe that Dominatrix = Bitch.  Many people will tell you that Domination is an attitude and I can say I agree with it, but for Me I combine so many aspects and qualities that I possess which makes an experience with Me truly unique. 

Sensuality
Eroticism
I am firm when needed
I know what I like. 
I love to touch and be touched.  (Of course touching Me anywhere is a privilege and earned). 
I feel Domination is about control first and foremost.  Most feel that Fem Dommes just want to beat men and although I can and do appreciate sadism (being sadistic) the Psychological aspects of Domination is what I find the most stimulating.  Getting into a man's head, teasing him, keeping him in a constant state of arousal (or a stimulated state of some sort).  I love to keep his mind going, his body quivering and I love watching him swallow hard and feeling his heart race when I am in his presence.  Domination is a roller coaster of rushes and the power control involved with it is amazing for Me. 

I can be cruel but sweet, sensual but firm, I love combining these things it is like combining flavors of food to create new flavors (this is the best way to explain it). 

Over all I think one of the most important things is making sure that My submissive and I are having a mutually gratifying and pleasurable experience.  I don't like to get bored in session and do not like to have boring play dates, so even if someone is shy or un-sure of what they want or what they want to try I can usually figure them out and I always initiate things, after all I am the Dominant, I can't be the shy one, I am also the Professional and being a professional means just that and I better know what I am doing and trust Me I DO know exactly what I am doing.  Psychologically, physically, emotionally, I know what buttons to push and how to operate you like a machine or toy and although everyone is different I feel the one thing that makes Me talented and good at what I do is I am able to read My submissives very well on a high intuitive level (I am an Empath, so it makes it easier for Me). 

Being able to connect is important and I do My best to make sure I am able to do that during My time with a submissive and at the same time am able to disconnect once you are gone, this is what makes Me a good professional.  I am not possessive nor jealous our time together is just that.  A no strings attached encounter where I want you to be able to trust, respect and enjoy your Domination or Fetish experience with Me.

When we are together you will experience a genuine, sensual, yet real encounter with a Dominant who looks beyond the whip and dives straight into your mind for the ultimate control over you and your body.  Sensual and intense is what they say I am and those 2 things about Me compliment My sessions. 

I think people should take the time to fulfill their Fantasies in a safe environment with an experienced Dominant and not neglect and limit themselves to just internet Domination, experiencing a Session with Me (A Dominatrix) is an experience I think you should have, fantasy fulfillment is a must for Me and I firmly believe in fulfilling My Fantasies and do not hold them back, so why not share them with Me, that's what I enjoy, helping you fulfill your Fantasies with Me. 

So what are your Fantasies? 

your Superior, 
Mistress Tiffany 

I am a comic now.

My slave did this amazing comic of Me yesterday and I just loved it so I had to share it. 

Enjoy. 

your Superior, 
Mistress Tiffany 

My new blog.

I'm Back!

My last blog hosting company went down without a warn g so I have finally decided to go with a more well known blogger program.  I have some blogs backed up on My Fet Life, so I will post them here. 

I am delighted to be back to My blogging and I hope you enjoy reading them. 

your Superior, 
Mistress Tiffany