Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Personal BDSM Relationships. Stop making it so damn hard on yourself.

Of course this is going to sound like nothing but Me bitching and of course I am. 

I am lucky to have the personal slaves I have, My subhub who I have been happily with for about 10 years.  My personal slave from /Egypt who is moving here to be with Me and who makes frequent trips to see Me and serve Me as often as he can, My servant who comes and gives Me wonderful massages and is so fun to toy with and play with.  I really am a lucky Woman to have these men in My life, they serve Me unconditionally and I am secure in My relationships with them. 

Recently I decided that I thought I wanted 2 more personal slaves from the Atlanta area. 
I put an ad up, yea I may be a Pro-Domme, but I am lifestyle first and foremost and I love having personal slaves;  men who adore Me, wait on Me and are here at My beck and call. 

One who applied is someone I met when I was 18 years old, he’s attractive and at some point in the past we did have a professional relationship, having a few sessions was satisfying back then, but he approached Me as a personal slave, read the ad with My requests and demands of what it took to serve Me on a personal basis. 

Well apparently some family things came up and that got him busy I had surgery, etc. and there was not even a little bit of time for us to meet for coffee.  All I can say is what the fuck was he thinking when he read My demands and requirements to serve Me?  I was willing to make the time for him and we do live in the same city after all. 

Here, I will share My demands: 
To apply for a personal position you must fit with-in these guidelines (They are NOT that strict and I do not ask for a lot as I do not want to miss great opportunities. 
  • Location:  you must be local to Atlanta or within 1 to 2 hours from Me. 
  • Service:  you must be able to serve Me personally 1 to 2 times a week, this could just be dates, domestic, massages, bathing Me, cleaning, cooking, errands, entertaining Me or basic home service to Me personally.  (NO SEX) I am not interested in having you put your penis in Me, however I AM interested in teasing your penis.  (I am personable and love sensuality). 
  • Age:  I am not selective about age, I do prefer older men so if you are older this is a PLUS, however I will consider emotionally and fiscally stable men 25 or older, I really do not want to go to much younger then that.  Stability is very important to Me. 
  • Relationships:  I am interested in a man who understands that this is a REAL type of relationship and not just fantasy.  It takes time to build a good D/s relationship and we both have to be willing to put that time in.  This means vanilla dates, courting and all of that wonderful stuff that goes with ANY relationship.  I am NOT going to just get together with you and JUST "play" that's what Professional Domination is for. 
  • Appearance:  I am not overly superficial, so really ones looks do not matter to Me, and hey the way I look at it is if there is something I find not appealing about you I can change it.  As long as you know how to clean yourself, brush your teeth and take care of yourself I am good.  I am a Non-smoker and prefer Non-smokers or someone who does not smoke around Me. 
  • Marital Status:  I prefer someone who is single, simply because someone who is married is usually hiding it from their spouse and cannot be as free to serve Me on My schedule and that is not fair to anyone.  If you're married I will consider you if your wife knows and I will want to meet her so I can verify you're not being sneaky.  So there it is single or married in an open relationship, that's what I seek.  Of course My professional clients their marital status does not matter to Me at all.
  • male or Female:  I am open to either a Female or male submissive to serve Me and train under Me. 
________________________________________
So I think I am not overly selective and surely reasonable and very clear in what I seek.  So why is it that submissives contact Me and then not put in the time to develop the D/s relationship they have so deeply yearned for? 

I constantly hear men complain about how hard it is for them to find a Mistress for them to serve. 
These are the same very men who I typically have found have not even had a vanilla relationship in some time, these men are what I want to call “the quick fix man”.  This type of man usually has an idea in his head; a fantasy of what type of Woman he wants to serve and how he wants to serve her.

Examples: 
I had a man once tell Me he wanted to serve Me in a more financial way (not really My thing) but I will hear him out, well I suggested maybe a shoe shopping trip, he protested immediately and then rebutted with how he wanted to take Me lingerie shopping;  so, you see where this is going right? 

Wait here is a more recent one:
I had a man write Me and say that he wanted to be My personal foot slave, I replied and indicated that a personal foot slave was responsible for My foot care from feet pampering, paying for My pedicures and My nails (those go together).  And his reply?  “Mistress I want to take you boot shopping”.  Again do you see where this is going? 

Sometimes I think a dog is better behaved then a man and much more loyal.

Now I see the issues guys have too, I had one man tell Me he served a Domme and she maxed his credit card out for over $10,000 I was shocked to hear this, the man had to file bankruptcy because of the incident.  In My personal opinion if she truly intended on having a personal relationship with him, why would she hurt his credit like that? 

I had another man tell Me that he met with a Domme who wanted a personal slave and when they met for coffee she brought a list of her bills and told him to pick one.  Again, I am shocked and in dis-belief at the lack of class that some Women possess. 

But do you want Me to tell you the one main common issue I see? 

Communication, the lack of honesty and communication. 

If people were just really honest with what they wanted then they might just get what they want without being so damn manipulative. 

I feel if someone wants a one night stand then say they want a one night stand, if a man wants to just take a Domme shopping for some boots; say I want to take you shopping for some boots and in return want to play with your boots and feet for an hour. 

If a Woman wants a man to take care of her bills then she needs to just say it (There are men out there open to taking care of a Woman’s bills).  But so many people are getting disappointed because of their lack of communication and honesty and the internet makes it so easy to hide behind this.  Why? Because people are too damn scared to be honest to someone’s face. 

At the end of the day it just goes back to good ol’ fashioned manners and what is completely messed up is I am having to call manners old fashioned. 

At the end of the day I just want a man to be brave enough to ask Me out to dinner if he wants to get to know Me. 

Or if he simply just wants to play then he just needs to say so.  Now granite if someone comes to Me asking Me just for a play date I am going to make it clear that no strings attached play dates are for pay and are professional sessions for Me and because I am honest about it than that man now has the right to make a decision on how he wishes to proceed at that point. 

Either way no one is going to have a good relationship (personal or business) if. . . . . 
a. They are not honest with themselves and what they want. 
b. And then honest with others with what they want. 

But the one thing I like to remind people of is not be over critical or nitpick everything because if we expect to meet the fantasy in our head we are either going to be lonely and disappointed or we will miss out on the real opportunities that can exceed our fantasies and what we thought we wanted. 

Well that is My rant for now, I hope in a way this helps people to find themselves in the BDSM World somehow. 

Your Superior, 
Mistress Tiffany 





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