I’m a Dominatrix not a fetish model

 I guess many can debate what is the difference between a professional dominatrix and a fetish model? 

 Can there only be one or can they be combined?  

 Personally I know a few good professional dominatrices that have been fetish models and fetish models that have turned into good professional dominatrices.  But I have to say the feedback that I receive from most of my clients that see the typical “fetish model/dominatrix“ ends up extremely disappointed with their session. 

 I find that I have different types of clients that contact Me, fortunately I’m pretty good with marketing I should be that’s My background; sales and marketing. So I tend to attract the right type of clientele.  For Me however there is the rare occasion where I may get a client that is purely a fetishist and has no interest in any sort of submission that’s wanting the more “fetish model type“. 

 This is where I like to remind people that I am a dominatrix not a fetish model.

 Now I have to admit I have done some Fetish modeling in the past.  But any woman just about can put on some make up do her hair and put on the right outfit that some people may stereotype as a dominatrix yet that doesn’t really make that woman a dominatrix.  

 Being a professional dominatrix takes so much more than a good pair of boots and a cat suit.  

 Domination although to most seems purely physical in actuality is 100% psychological. 

 Domination is not purely about pain. Domination is about control and if anybody reads most of the content that I write throughout different social networks that is the one thing that I consistently push; Reminding people that domination is not about physically harming someone, domination is about power exchange one person giving up control willingly and the other person willingly yet  strategically taking control. 

 Many clients are unhappy with seeing a fetish model because a fetish model may typically be accustomed to seeing clients that are happy with a woman who goes down the checklist that stays detached during her session.  Many fetish models also do not deeply study BDSM nor their clients. The clients that feel satisfied with fetish models tend to be predominately attracted to the Woman looking more like a model. Yet many who want to submit are learning that the “model type” can only take you so far. We don’t pick a doctor based off their looks. Why should you select a dominatrix based purely off their appearance?  Again don’t get Me wrong I can understand that a part of our job is the way we look and carry ourselves. Being attractive, feminine or some may prefer a more masculine look either way there is “a look” that people may find appealing. And I understand that for most clients being attracted to the person they are being Dominated by is an important factor. But men need to think before they just going out contacting a Dominatrix.  Some people think that because a Domme does films that she knows what she’s doing. (I am not saying that all film Dommes are bad, many are good). But people call this stuff BDSM “porn” and for Me hearing the words BDSM and “porn” together just does not resonate. Yes Domination is hot, it’s sexy, it’s arousing but when I think of porn I think of sex.  

So when it comes to Women who are doing films it is usually acting. It is someone going through the motions. It is disconnected. It’s just a scene. 

Now if you’re involved the Domme needs to know you, she needs to understand your body physically and your mind and psyche emotionally. Connecting in a session is important to Me whether I see someone once or multiple times. And personally it is making sure that I find that rare way to bond that makes Me a Dominatrix and not just a Fetish model. 

I am highly selective with whom I choose to see. I don’t just take someone’s money and go through the motions and disconnect. I make sure they are able to submit and let go and learn to trust Me during our time together (Thia is why I do not do 1 hour sessions). 

I appreciate each individual that I session with and everyone’s submission is different and unique and it is My job as a Dominatrix to be able to safely and consensually help my clients fullfill their BDSM and Fetish fantasies. It is a responsibility.  And anyone interested in becoming a professional dominatrix should educate them continuously throughout their career.  

And this is why I am a dominatrix first and always, not just a fetish model.

I really love what I do. 

On your Knees! 

Mistress Tiffany 

My New Dungeon La Bastille Dungeon.

It has taken a lot of work but I have finally got the bulk of My 1500 sqft Dungeon/Playspace done. 

I had My first private party over the weekend and I have to say I am in some pain, it was a lot of work not only getting My space done in time for the party, but also getting the rest of My place acceptable for guests; after all I just moved less than a month ago.  But I am excited that My friends and party guests enjoyed the space.  I received very positive feedback. 

Out of all the playspaces i have worked in and owned this is the largest I have had to work with and as a friend told Me "Uou will NEVER be done with this space because you will always be moving stuff around, adding things to it and changing it up." and I have to say My friend is right.  It is a space I can always add to and do things with, that is the amazing thing about it. 

Now that the bulk of it is done, I hope My clients know it is time to come and play. 

I'll write more about it, in the meantime enjoy the few photos I have added here; keep in mind the photos do not really give you an idea of the size, you'll just have to come see it. 

On your Knees!
Mistress Tiffany

P.S.  I included a photo of My outfit and blond wig from the Dungeon Opening Party. 
None of the photos are professional.  All are candid I will have a professional photographer come in to capture the space better.  It is really amazing. 

My Opening party attire.

 The second sitting area around the Bondage Frame.

 My very good friend made these for Me, I love them.  

 The photo below is before the walls were done in the main area. I still had a lot of work to do but got the sitting area in the main area done and it is now complete.  I will post more photos soon.

I am still working on the Boudiour area of the Dungeon but it is looking amazing.

This is where I am going to put My new latex vac bed.

Eros has changed their policies.

I can't lie and say I do not find it annoying that Eros has changed so many of their policies from photos to text in our ads and now we can no longer post our WEBSITES! 

We are only allowed to keep a phone number and email address. 
I personally find that doing this will make it difficult for both Pro-Dommes and clients to find quality. 

Most of My clients appreciate My detailed website and the information and reviews on My website. 
I also appreciate clients who take the time to read My website and email Me or fill out My questionnaire. 

Now we have Women who can just post ads with pictures and a number there is no website or effort put into their business and text is limited now on Eros.  FOSTA (google it if you do not know what it is). Is really messing up our rights, those of us clearly of age and independent should not have to deal with this.  And now clients can suffer by meeting Dommes that may not have the experience level that the client requires which can lead to a dangerous session for the client. 

I am putting a plan to step forward for Pro-Dommes separating professional Dominatrices from prostitution (We are completely separate and different). 

I have heard too many horror stories from clients who have had bad experiences with Dommes who clearly do NOT know what they are doing and I plan on doing what I can to help clients find quality Pro-Dommes. 

I know there are still Pro-Dome directories out there and I suggest that clients stick to those because our websites are there.  This is My best suggestion for now. 

Share your feedback with Me. 

On your Knees!
Mistress Tiffany

Curvy, skinny, full figured, or strong Pro-Dommes

As a Pro-Domme we are all lumped into that group of "adult entertainers" but let's face it for those who have met Me we all know I am the one who is being entertained (as I say I love My job).  

With that I have seen and met with so many Fem Dommes who are doing videos now along with their sessions to supplement their income and meet the high demand of men who prefer to keep their BDSM online only.  And with that Women are now feeling the need to do bizarre or extreme diets to be what men think they should be even when they are perfectly healthy and beautiful.  Fuck that! 

I find it extremely important to be healthy...

Fact I use to be 300lbs and a size 26, I am NOW a size 18 and lost a significant amount of weight and enjoy heavy lifting and stronglifts. I am healthier now then when I was in My mid 20's (yes I'm still young but adding a decade and still maintaining health is awesome).

At the same time I find Myself plateaued, if I do too much heavy lifting I gain weight (I easily bulk up) so I have to alternate that with some cardio and am about to add some yoga to My routine to help My overall well being, body flow and core. I feel being strong is an important aspect of My job as it can get very physical But I do NOT do all of this just for the purpose of being an "entertainer" to have a certain physique; in fact many men may find thinner Women much more appealing than a Woman of My stature, but then again every man and person for that matter is attracted to something different and some find My physique to fit what they want.  I do what I do for My overall health.  I have no interest in starving Myself, I have no interest in living in the gym 7 days a week hours on end (I do have a life you know and besides too much gym time can raise your cortisol levels Read here about this.) But I have been known to be in the gym 5-6 days a week and I have lowered Myself back down to 3 days because this is a happy medium for Me although I may sneak into the gym more often than that.  My point is I simply have no interest in being an extremist when it comes to having to starve Myself to fit the Hollywood mold of what men want Women to look like.  

I feel I have a unique and rare type of beauty and have been told this, I love being a curvy Domme who is strong and I believe My clients would concur.

I have happily assisted clients with behavior modification to help them as well with their health and one of My goals is to get officially certified in nutrition this year.  

I hope when men look at Women they admire them for their own individual beauty whether they be skinny, curvy, plus size, soft, strong, tall or short.  After all as Pro-Dommes we are looking at your naked asses all the time and not judging you, although you can argue that you are "paying" us as a Dominatrix so we should fit the mold as an "adult entertainer" and what you may find sexy.  However, I will not let someone dictate that I need to starve Myself or maintain a extreme diet to fit what they feel a Dominatrix should be because the fact is I am a Woman and I no longer have the metabolism of a teenager.  I am healthy, strong and fucking gorgeous and I will own that and no one no matter how much they pay Me can make Me believe in anything different.  I am paid for My expertise not to be your sex doll at your will.  I am a firm believer that all Women should be appreciated, we all work hard in some way to own our femininity (or most do) and I hope My clients appreciate My efforts as well as others even if we do not fit with-in that lumped up group of what folks may think an "adult entertainer" should look like.  

On your Knees!

Mistress Tiffany

Does Fem-Domme=Bitch?

It's seen everywhere and for some guys they like the bitch attitude but for most it is an overdone act by Women who think this is what Domination is about.

I always remind My clients I can get bitchy just like anyone but I do not feel "acting" like a bitch is the basis for the persona of what a Fem Domme should be.  

In fact I think the whole intense "bitch attitude" is a turn off for many guys, but let's face it, some guys are piggys who do not care when it comes to seeing a 20 year old bent over or blatantly in a sex stance position.  There is something for some men about that male ego.  Do they think they might "get lucky". Does it validate them that they get to see someone who displays themselves so blatantly?

These are the same men who come to Me later complaining about the horrible experience they had with a Domme they did not research.  They complain that the session felt disconnected that the Domme may had just barked orders and some complaining about Dommes who just scream and kick at them.  There are a many variety of beautiful Women who are Dominant out there, but if a man is looking for a quality Dominant who has some experience then he should learn to think a bit with the head on his shoulders rather then the one between his legs.  

Unfortunately Pro-Dommes do not have to go get a degree, but good Pro-Dommes will be versatile and will educate themselves and involve themselves in their local lifestyle scene some as well as investing in equipment, toy's etc. 

I love what I do and I say this time and time again; I am not angry, screaming or behaving like a mean bitch, all these attitudes are very negative and that energy is not something I personally want to have as the basis of My sessions.  I am sassy, assertive and confident in My sessions and in what I do and that's what My clients will find with Me, not a bitch. This is about having fun and doing it safely.

On your Knees!

Mistress Tiffany  

I'm back from Vegas, what an amazing birthday week!

I do not even know where to start.  

First I want to thank My slave for taking Me on an amazing Birthday adventure although he may debate the adventure is keeping up with Me in Las Vegas.  

Realistically I thought I wanted to chill.  Have a little "Me" time, maybe read a book, but My slave kept Me busy!  

We arrived Tuesday to an amazing suite with full kitchen, separate bedroom, living room, 2 bathrooms, and a balcony overlooking the strip and pool.  

We got in late and got settled, unpacked, then I took My must have after travel shower and slipped into the bed under the down bedding with My extra pillows.  

Tuesday when I woke up, room service was ordered and I sent My slave to the drugstore for some toiletries I forgot while I soaked in the jetted jacuzzi tub in our over-sized bathroom.  

While he was out, I recommended dinner reservations but the control freak I am; I wanted to make them, so I did want to hear his suggestions on what he may find appealing (of course we all know I am going to select what I want at the end of the day).  

Being the good boy that he is he did not suggest a type of food (good boy), he simply stated it would be nice to go someplace a little funky, fun and Las Vegas style.  So as I sat in the jacuzzi I went through google on My phone looking at the many fine dining options Las Vegas had to offer and then I finally came across a place called Meat Bazaar.  The decor was fitting and the food looked creative and different so I booked the reservation prior to our Zombie burlesque shoe that he booked for us after dinner. 

Dinner was amazing and the champagne and wine selections along with the food were mind blowing. 

When we got the bill I told My slave to just breath as he looked at the check, he admitted it is the most money he has spent on a dining experience but one he said was more then worth it. after all it was about 9 courses; We did the tasting menu which was the way to go.  So if you're in Vegas this is a dining experience not to miss. 

After dinner we proceeded to The Zombie Burlesque show which was fun and hilarious and then we ended up at a bar where I was fed drinks by the patrons for My birthday (it was after midnight) including a group of 21 year olds who bought Me a shot. 

Then somehow we ended up in a limo at an all Female strip club, that was fun watching My slave sweat as I had Women giving him lap dances.  I'm not sure he knew quite how to behave so I would just grab his hand and tell him to touch them (you could touch these dancers, with-in reason).   

And then I woke up (thankfully in bed).  This was just My pre birthday evening.  

Wednesday the day of My birthday I kept pretty mellow, after all the night of champagne, mimosas and shots were strongly lingering in the form of a hangover.  

My slave made reservations at the spa for Me at our hotel and I made it for My 11am services which included a full body scrub, massage with foot scrub and a facial, that was pretty close to a hangover cure as anyone could get but it was still there, I just kept hydrated.  

When I was done I had room service for lunch while I facetimed My family who all sang happy birthday to Me.  

I made time for another soak in the jacuzzi before getting ready for our dinner reservations and show that evening and actually made it.  

My slave made reservations at a seafood and steakhouse with him knowing i love seafood and him being a man who loves his red meat.  Dinner was quiet but sweet as he respected that My hangover still had a good hold of Me, but we laughed about the evening that led up to this.  

My slave being the good boy he is (I think I mentioned this earlier) took Me to see thunder from down under and I will admit it is an entertaining show.  And I have added photos to show what an amazing time I had.  

Thursday we decided to rent a car and we went to Fremont which is more like a street festival with cheap food, cheap gambling and fun things to do (although we found a lovely restaurant for a late lunch complete with champagne and some seafood along with a beet salad for Myself). 

We decided to take advantage of our dvd player in our living room of our suite and enjoyed a late night movie, some wine and more room service appetizers.  

I had My slave prepack most of My things as I like to be prepared and got ready for bed because I had more spa time that next morning.  

My slave took care of the rest of the packing as I enjoyed more spa time and relaxation (our flight was not until later) and then I showered and got ready at the spa and we met for lunch then did some shopping and then dropped our car off at the rental place and got checked in and made it 20 mins prior to boarding our plane.  

All in all I did not give you every dirty little detail, after all what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but I can say I had a marvelous time and am thankful to all the birthday gifts I came home to as well as emails, and messages from those wishing Me a happy birthday while I was gone.  

And most of all I want to thank My slave for making sure I had a fantastic fun filled birthday vacation that every Queen deserves to have, I felt spoiled.  

Thank you all!  

On your Knees! 

Mistress Tiffany  

Its a new Year for Me (My birthday)

It's a new year for Me and My birthday has come this past week and I have decided I really need to blog again.

I meet so many people interested in My life as a Dominatrix from My Kink to vanilla aspects as well as many people who seek out My help and thoughts on BDSM, I hope to start blogging every week from now on and for those who are following if you have any questions or topics you wish to see Me blog about don't be a pussy and take the time to drop Me an email at mindyourdomme@gmail.com let Me know what you want to read about.  I always appreciate feedback.  

I'm back bitches! (Well I've always been here just back to blogging).

On your Knees!

Mistress Tiffany