Pro-Dommes on display?

I have to totally vent in this post, after surrounding Myself with the many Pro-Dommes this past weekend from Dom Con I have to ask Myself, how many Dommes put themselves on display? Is this what we do? Is this how men see us? Seriously?

I do not view Myself this way, but a friend of Mine was showing Me a website of a Domme from the area I am relocating soon, I was sifting through her site and then My friend pointed out some photos, photos of her strategically posed in what I call a face down ass up pose, now this does not necessarily mean her face is to the floor, but it is a pose where this ass is thrusted out and the face is away, it is clearly a photo to expose the bare or close to bare ass cheeks, I see this quite often where it is an obvious position of sexual entrance for a man whether she is in a chair, standing against a wall or lying on a bed, in My personal position I do not feel this is a stance of Dominance, I feel a Woman can share sensual and erotic images of her derriere in a tasteful and Female empowering way.

So what is My personal issue with this?  This is NOT a personal issue, this is My professional issue, personally I have some risqué photos, professionally I do not wish to display them as this gives men the wrong idea of what true Female Domination is in a professional atmosphere.  When professionals like Myself have men approaching asking for obvious "kinky sex" or sexual acts such as rimming, oral sex, etc. this gets frustrating, of course men are going to want this when they see Women exposing themselves in this manner, we are a product of ourselves, and if we look like we are selling sex, this is what the "consumers" will expect.  So if a Woman calls herself a Dominatrix (A Superior/assertive being to men) but displays herself in a position of a sexual bottom then how are men going to look at the rest of us?

It is becoming more common and having to turn away clients on the phone because over half ask Me for some sort of rimming or oral sex is quite frustrating and I know many other Femme Dommes who feel the same way I do.

So why are they doing it?

The money? Because they like it? or because they feel this is what Dominance is?

Personally it is not fair for Me to state that sexual Dominance does not have a real position in BDSM, this is not true, personally I enjoy sexual Domination, but professionally this is not what I am about.  I do not find Domination sexual, I find it sensual, arousing and it takes Me to a place mentally where sex cannot take Me; yes Domination for some people especially men has sexual undertones to it, because it causes arousal for many, but to Me there are different states of arousal, those that have experienced true Domination, whether it is mild and sensual or intense and hardcore know that it is a rush, it is exciting, taboo and fun when done by an experienced professional. 

My personal vision of a Dominant is one in power, one who is looked upon, one who is placed in a Superior position of power.  This is why we are called Mistresses (the head of a house hold), Queens/Princesses (Royalty), Goddess (A superior deity).  We as Dommes give ourselves these titles of Superiority because we are in  position of control, power and superiority and quite frankly when I look at some Women's photos who call themselves Dommes and they place themselves with their asses in thongs or bare, bent over, My first thought is I want to put on a strap on and pound the shit out of them, so what do you think men think? 

The frustration lies in what makes a Dominant Woman truly Dominant, we are all different and I respect a Dommes right to do whatever she wants to do in session, but she should respect herself and know we are NOT selling ourselves, we are selling something that prostitutes cannot sell and that is a pure Psychological BDSM encounter.  If you are going to sell yourself as a Fetish Escort then recognize yourself as one there is nothing wrong with that, but there needs to be a clear indication to men what a Dominatrix is and what a Fetish escort is. 

We do not need to display ourselves like fine pieces of prime meat and yes I understand men are visual photos are important, but what is the epitome of a Dominant or powerful Woman to you?  Personally I expect My clients to respect Me in every way and if I can not respect My own body, My own being and My own superiority then how can they truly respect Me and serve Me as a Dominant?

I will continue to educate those on the power of sensual Dominance, we are Women, we are powerful and we have more control then we realize and I love it!

Steps down from My podium. 

your Superior,

Mistress Tiffany  

Jaded or is it Post-coital tristesse?

I wanted to share this posting I made on My Fet life account here on My blog. _________________________________________
This is why some Dommes are so jaded by men.

When a man’s dick gets hard, when he becomes aroused he will say and do almost anything to get what he wants. What does he want? At the end of the day he wants to discuss his fantasies, get his dick hard, get himself off and wants he comes reality sets in. It is like a drug junkie or alcoholic who wakes up from a night of heavy drug use or drinking and saying “oh no, what did I do”.

It Is frustrating to a Woman who does think logically (we don’t have dicks) to have men make empty promises because that’s what their fantasies or their dicks are telling them to say.

Domination can be very fulfilling, satisfying and yet scary for some people. Fulfilling our deep dark fantasies can be scary; sometimes for a submissive the idea of the fantasy is just enough to fulfill their appetite, and with that fantasy a submissive will say almost anything to just keep their dick throbbing until they pop their rocks off, then that when it happens. The blood rushes back to the top part of your body where your brain is and if you want to get more clinical a chemical such as dopamine and other chemicals are released and now you come back to reality the release has happened and the fantasy was fulfilled after the release whether or not you followed through the submissive got their nut and the fantasy is over. Some may even start to feel guilt or shame, just like a drug junkie or alcoholic after a night of binging.

I consider this behavior to be very dangerous and un-healthy not only to the submissive but to anyone else he may bring into his fantasy to fulfill his junkie needs. I have done some research and some people may call this Post-coital tristesse (usually referred to after sex, but can happen after masturbation or after a Domination Session). It is usually related to feelings of guilt, apathy, disconnection, sadness, etc. after coming (an orgasm). This can occur in both men and Women but is more common in men.

This is something that Femme Dommes find frustrating and I feel there are more men that are into kink that behave this way (not all) and I do My best to help submissives get through this, I enjoy helping others fulfill their fantasies with-out feeling guilty, I want My submissves both personal and clients to have a feeling of fulfillment, love, joy and overall happiness when seeing Me during our time and after. Whether it is naughty dirty hardcore play or sensual it should always be fulfilling and satisfying to both the Dominant and the submissive.

I feel if someone is suffering from Post-coital tristesse that they should feel free to find a Therapist to help them through this, I know many men are afraid of discussing certain fantasies with certain Therapist in fear that they will be judged, but what people need to realize is they are trained for this, I find male Therapist to be much more open minded as well. Professional Dominatrix like Myself can assist as well as long as we know what it is you are seeking.

Either way you need to be respectful, realistic and understanding when it comes to finding a Domme or when you are with a Domme, if you have a fear or concern be open and express it when looking for a Domme, but NEVER be misleading by stating you want the type of relationship she is seeking to get what you want. Do not let your dick get you in trouble and do not let your fantasies take control of who you are, it is not as hard as you think it is to find the type of D/s relationship you desire or Domme.

I find comfort is this definition of My own of a submissive.
Submissive – One who receives pleasure from pleasing another.
I hope to help those who seek fantasy fulfillment with-out guilt or shame, well unless it is consensual guilt or shame that is a part of our scene of course.

your Superior,
Mistress Tiffany