Pro-Dommes on display?

I have to totally vent in this post, after surrounding Myself with the many Pro-Dommes this past weekend from Dom Con I have to ask Myself, how many Dommes put themselves on display? Is this what we do? Is this how men see us? Seriously?

I do not view Myself this way, but a friend of Mine was showing Me a website of a Domme from the area I am relocating soon, I was sifting through her site and then My friend pointed out some photos, photos of her strategically posed in what I call a face down ass up pose, now this does not necessarily mean her face is to the floor, but it is a pose where this ass is thrusted out and the face is away, it is clearly a photo to expose the bare or close to bare ass cheeks, I see this quite often where it is an obvious position of sexual entrance for a man whether she is in a chair, standing against a wall or lying on a bed, in My personal position I do not feel this is a stance of Dominance, I feel a Woman can share sensual and erotic images of her derriere in a tasteful and Female empowering way.

So what is My personal issue with this?  This is NOT a personal issue, this is My professional issue, personally I have some risqué photos, professionally I do not wish to display them as this gives men the wrong idea of what true Female Domination is in a professional atmosphere.  When professionals like Myself have men approaching asking for obvious "kinky sex" or sexual acts such as rimming, oral sex, etc. this gets frustrating, of course men are going to want this when they see Women exposing themselves in this manner, we are a product of ourselves, and if we look like we are selling sex, this is what the "consumers" will expect.  So if a Woman calls herself a Dominatrix (A Superior/assertive being to men) but displays herself in a position of a sexual bottom then how are men going to look at the rest of us?

It is becoming more common and having to turn away clients on the phone because over half ask Me for some sort of rimming or oral sex is quite frustrating and I know many other Femme Dommes who feel the same way I do.

So why are they doing it?

The money? Because they like it? or because they feel this is what Dominance is?

Personally it is not fair for Me to state that sexual Dominance does not have a real position in BDSM, this is not true, personally I enjoy sexual Domination, but professionally this is not what I am about.  I do not find Domination sexual, I find it sensual, arousing and it takes Me to a place mentally where sex cannot take Me; yes Domination for some people especially men has sexual undertones to it, because it causes arousal for many, but to Me there are different states of arousal, those that have experienced true Domination, whether it is mild and sensual or intense and hardcore know that it is a rush, it is exciting, taboo and fun when done by an experienced professional. 

My personal vision of a Dominant is one in power, one who is looked upon, one who is placed in a Superior position of power.  This is why we are called Mistresses (the head of a house hold), Queens/Princesses (Royalty), Goddess (A superior deity).  We as Dommes give ourselves these titles of Superiority because we are in  position of control, power and superiority and quite frankly when I look at some Women's photos who call themselves Dommes and they place themselves with their asses in thongs or bare, bent over, My first thought is I want to put on a strap on and pound the shit out of them, so what do you think men think? 

The frustration lies in what makes a Dominant Woman truly Dominant, we are all different and I respect a Dommes right to do whatever she wants to do in session, but she should respect herself and know we are NOT selling ourselves, we are selling something that prostitutes cannot sell and that is a pure Psychological BDSM encounter.  If you are going to sell yourself as a Fetish Escort then recognize yourself as one there is nothing wrong with that, but there needs to be a clear indication to men what a Dominatrix is and what a Fetish escort is. 

We do not need to display ourselves like fine pieces of prime meat and yes I understand men are visual photos are important, but what is the epitome of a Dominant or powerful Woman to you?  Personally I expect My clients to respect Me in every way and if I can not respect My own body, My own being and My own superiority then how can they truly respect Me and serve Me as a Dominant?

I will continue to educate those on the power of sensual Dominance, we are Women, we are powerful and we have more control then we realize and I love it!

Steps down from My podium. 

your Superior,

Mistress Tiffany  

Jaded or is it Post-coital tristesse?

I wanted to share this posting I made on My Fet life account here on My blog. _________________________________________
This is why some Dommes are so jaded by men.

When a man’s dick gets hard, when he becomes aroused he will say and do almost anything to get what he wants. What does he want? At the end of the day he wants to discuss his fantasies, get his dick hard, get himself off and wants he comes reality sets in. It is like a drug junkie or alcoholic who wakes up from a night of heavy drug use or drinking and saying “oh no, what did I do”.

It Is frustrating to a Woman who does think logically (we don’t have dicks) to have men make empty promises because that’s what their fantasies or their dicks are telling them to say.

Domination can be very fulfilling, satisfying and yet scary for some people. Fulfilling our deep dark fantasies can be scary; sometimes for a submissive the idea of the fantasy is just enough to fulfill their appetite, and with that fantasy a submissive will say almost anything to just keep their dick throbbing until they pop their rocks off, then that when it happens. The blood rushes back to the top part of your body where your brain is and if you want to get more clinical a chemical such as dopamine and other chemicals are released and now you come back to reality the release has happened and the fantasy was fulfilled after the release whether or not you followed through the submissive got their nut and the fantasy is over. Some may even start to feel guilt or shame, just like a drug junkie or alcoholic after a night of binging.

I consider this behavior to be very dangerous and un-healthy not only to the submissive but to anyone else he may bring into his fantasy to fulfill his junkie needs. I have done some research and some people may call this Post-coital tristesse (usually referred to after sex, but can happen after masturbation or after a Domination Session). It is usually related to feelings of guilt, apathy, disconnection, sadness, etc. after coming (an orgasm). This can occur in both men and Women but is more common in men.

This is something that Femme Dommes find frustrating and I feel there are more men that are into kink that behave this way (not all) and I do My best to help submissives get through this, I enjoy helping others fulfill their fantasies with-out feeling guilty, I want My submissves both personal and clients to have a feeling of fulfillment, love, joy and overall happiness when seeing Me during our time and after. Whether it is naughty dirty hardcore play or sensual it should always be fulfilling and satisfying to both the Dominant and the submissive.

I feel if someone is suffering from Post-coital tristesse that they should feel free to find a Therapist to help them through this, I know many men are afraid of discussing certain fantasies with certain Therapist in fear that they will be judged, but what people need to realize is they are trained for this, I find male Therapist to be much more open minded as well. Professional Dominatrix like Myself can assist as well as long as we know what it is you are seeking.

Either way you need to be respectful, realistic and understanding when it comes to finding a Domme or when you are with a Domme, if you have a fear or concern be open and express it when looking for a Domme, but NEVER be misleading by stating you want the type of relationship she is seeking to get what you want. Do not let your dick get you in trouble and do not let your fantasies take control of who you are, it is not as hard as you think it is to find the type of D/s relationship you desire or Domme.

I find comfort is this definition of My own of a submissive.
Submissive – One who receives pleasure from pleasing another.
I hope to help those who seek fantasy fulfillment with-out guilt or shame, well unless it is consensual guilt or shame that is a part of our scene of course.

your Superior,
Mistress Tiffany

Video blog on how to make an appointment with a Professional Dominatrix.

I did this video blog for My Fet Life Profile over 6 months ago.  Enjoy and I hope you find My advice helpful.

To Serve Me.

If he cares for Me , he will serve Me 
If he cherishes Me he will respect Me 
He is selfless and will adore Me. 
His mind is not about his desires, only My pleasure motivates him 
Only My laughter and smile bring him happiness 
Only My commands he can hear 
To fail Me is his only fear. 

Mistress Tiffany 

(c) Mistress Tiffany 

My style of Domination.

My style of Domination. 

I had someone ask My recently what My style of Domination was and of course I was actually able to give a quick answer to that. 

Now although I was to answer rather quickly with-out much thought that does not make My answer a simple one. 

For Me Domination is personal, and sensual but it is a huge responsibility being a Dominatrix and I take that seriously. 

So My short answer.  I am a sensual, playful yet strict Dominant, almost in that order if I were to put those specific traits in order. 

A little more detail of who I am as I describe Myself and from what others say I am almost a walking contradiction.  Those who have met Me will tell you I do not fit the mold of the “A-Typical” Dominant. 

I am caring, nurturing, selfish, giving, cruel, beautiful, romantic, passionate, confident, insecure, harsh, soft and admired for the ability to balance the multiple facets in My life. 

My style depends on My partner.  I literally can take someone's fantasy and make it My own. 

I have always been the type of person to fulfill My own Fantasies and I love to help others explore their fantasies in a safe, sane and consensual manner. 

Sensuality. 

Being a Sensual Dominant is naturally who I am, now this does not always mean sexual, but I find touch to be important, I love to touch and be touched (with My permission of course) and I love the sensuality of being a Woman, I love a passionate Domination/Fetish session and it is important for Me to be as stimulated as you are about our encounter together. 

Playful. 

I am described as being playful by many, I love to be spontaneous and am not the type of person to plan My sessions out step by step, I can't go down a check list, It goes with being sensual and passionate, I find most things in life to be fun when they are spontaneous and playful.  I love to laugh and simply have a good time in My sessions as well as teasing My submissives.  

Strict. 

Although I am sensual and playful I am also a strict Dominant, I have expectations of My submissives (I will tell you My expectations when we meet of course) and I have rules, a good Dominant needs to be able to maintain control of her submissives and toys. 

Being strict may seem to contradict My other aspects but trust Me they all meld together well and make Me the unique Dominant experience I am.  

your Superior,  

Mistress Tiffany  

Lifestyle BDSM and Me:

Lifestyle BDSM and Me: 

The term lifestyle is thrown around a lot and people get confused with it, some people think it is a heavy 24/7 protocol commitment, some people may think it is this big poly house with a bunch of servants and Dommes who control them (A hot idea for sure).  Now some people live this way, I don’t; I am lifestyle because I do have personal full time servants (who do not live with Me) who serve Me at My whim.  I also have a personal partner who I share this with.  I obviously am not walking around with a whip in thigh high boots all day; no matter how hot that idea is it is not realistic. 

With that said. 

I give to My local BDSM community when I can, I do what I can for the BDSM community by participating, teaching & helping when I can.
 
The lifestyle to Me means that this is a part of who I am, I feel this is not something I can just do a few times or just every now and then, it is a part of who I am genetically, I am wired this way and I love it. 
--------------------------------------------
One thing I like to tell people is that being Dominant to Me does not entitle Me to be rude, angry or hateful, that is NOT My style.  I am demanding, sensual, spoiled and am VERY firm.  Do I get bitchy sometimes? Sure do, but I am not going to “act” bitchy to fit some stereo-type persona to get your dick hard.  Good manners are important to Me; good manners represent class and sophistication and though I may have a potty mouth at times, I most certainly believe in maintaining good manners and expect the same of My submissives. 

your Superior, 
Mistress Tiffany 

At the end of the day I am just Me. 

 

When calling to book an appointment with a Professional Dominatrix.

When calling to book an appointment with a Professional Dominatrix.

This advice is general advice and is not intended to insult anyone, but there are just some people out there who are rude, disrespectful and waste a Dommes time, this advice will help assure you of a better experience with a Professional Dominatrix. 

1.  Do your homework on the Domme before calling her.
          a. Read the information she provides on her website. 
          b. Make sure you READ over her list of interests and if you do not see    your particular interest listed then send her an email letting her know what you’re interested in, do not call her unless she clearly states on her site you can call to ask questions about unlisted interests.  Most Dommes do not appreciate someone calling them unless you are calling for an appointment.
          c. If she has a blog read it, she will be impressed that you took the time to read what she wrote. 
          d. If she has links to reviews check those out if you desire to do so.  (Mind you not all good quality have reviews, some may even prefer to not have reviews). 

2. Watch your mouth on the phone.  Be respectful and selfless.  Allow the Domme to do her job, tell her you’re interested in possibly booking an appointment and tell her when.  At that time she will ask you what your interests are if she does not ask her permission if you can let her know what you’re looking for in your session with her.  Be careful what you say on the phone with a Domme.  Refer to your interests with how she has them worded; learn to read between the lines.  Another way of communicating specific interests are by telling her what photos you’re attracted to so she gets the gist.  Do not demand a Domme repeat what you’re saying on the phone, if she’s not interested in something she will let you know. 

3. Communicate, yes it is not good to be overly blunt about certain things, just use common sense, do not be overly shy, if you’re a little too shy on the phone you may want to initiate an email.  Communicate what you like and what you know you do not like. 

4. Let the Domme know why you decided to call her for an appointment and why you feel you might be compatible with her.  It is also nice to let her know where you found out about her. 

5. Do not book if you’re not ready, if you’re not ready just clarify that you will call her when you’re ready.  If you're nervous you can ask if she can meet you for a consultation at her place, coffee, lunch or dinner (all for a donation of course).  Most Dommes do offer this with a reasonable donation and some will even include it into your session rate if you decide to book.  It does not hurt to ask. 

6. Do not waste her time on the phone.  Try to get to the point, us Dommes are good at knowing when someone is a timewaster, some guys feel like they are just trying to get to know a Domme, but if you get on the phone to talk to a Domme to arouse yourself we will know it, so do not do it, get a phone session if you want to get your prick off. 

7. Make sure you are providing a days’ notice for an appointment (unless a Domme specifies she can do shorter notice).  I know must subbie boys call when the mood strikes and if you are one of those email a Domme and tell her you are the type who prefers same day appointments and ask her what he can do to accommodate that if possible.  She may have a same day opening. 

8. Dommes do not typically like a submissive to script out their sessions, do not offer this unless a Domme specifies she is ok with this. 

9. Make sure when you book your appointment that you try to call when you’re on your way so she knows or call if she specifies a second call. 

10. Do not be too early when arriving and do not be late, if you think you might be running late call and tell her, if you’re early I suggest you find something to do until the time of your appointment. 

Just remember to be a gentleman, be polite and courteous, if you are polite and a gentleman and her reaction does not feel right to you then do not book an appointment over-all it is important for both the submissive and the Domme to feel comfortable with each other. 

your Superior, 
Mistress Tiffany